Dryer than the Sahara

For the first time in a while I am out of blog material.  I do have a few more oldies from the dating vault I could write about, but the best (and by best I mean most horrifying) stories have already been told. 

Anyways...I am just putting a thought out there.  I know there  a few single ladies who follow this blog and I know you've got some dating doozies (you know who you are)..so...I was thinking I'd love to have some guest posts and share your most mortifying dating moments...whatta ya think?  If you feel like sharing, let's chat! 

Off the Market?

Since I have begun to date Shaun a little more seriously I have removed the posts about him.  Mostly out of respect, but partially out of fear that he will find them.  I have  a history of being a bit technologically challenged, there is a good possibility that I might do something stupid and reveal myself.  So for the time being I have pulled myself off the market...I will keep ya posted on how things progress.

All One Can Ever Really Hope For!



Awwww....Is this too much to ask for?

Exactly What the Doctor Ordered

Having dinner in with a couple of my favourite boy crazy babes(I think they may even be worse than me).  Wine may lead to dancing.  Dancing may lead to boys.  Night in or night out, either way I'm happy:)

Horrific Dates in Histoy~ Dann-o

A long while back in about 2006 I went on a date with Dann-o.  At that time I was living in my hometown and Dann-o was from  the next town over but was living in Halifax.  He was a physiotherapist and one of my co-workers knew his older sisters (and said he came from a lovely family) so I thought I might be in luck. 
My first clue into the fact that something was off with this dude was that when we were making our date plans he said he was working nights, so we had to wait and plan around that....What kind of physiotherapist works the back shift?  Anyhoo we went ahead and made a plan.  Since we kinda knew some mutual people and I was living in a much smaller, safer town I allowed him to pick me up at my house. 

When he arrived, wearing the ugliest, most out-dated carpenter style jeans, I asked what he wanted to do.  I suggested we go grab a bite or a drink or something at the pub down the street.  He said he was actually kind of broke and was hoping we could just hang out at my place.  What kind of guy asks a girl out and can't even afford to buy himself a drink or two?  Totally unprepared for this and feeling too guilty to send him packing I say sure we can stay at my place.  We sit on the couch and turn on the tube and do a little chatting.  There is zero connection.  I am feeling awkward and uncomfortable.  I think it is fairly obvious.  He proceeds to tell me that he has no money because he is working at a call center and is living in a boarding house.  Facts he definately neglected to tell me during the get to know you portion of our online encounter.  He definately pulled the old bait and switch on me.



Then out of nowhere, with me sitting as far away as possible from him he goes in for the kiss.  I turn my cheek and tell him I am not interested and don't think there is a connection.  He proceeds to try to convince me to kiss me and tells me that I can't be sure that there is no connection unless we kiss and that sometimes a sexual chemistry can build and you just need to try it to find out.  I politely told him  that I should not need to be convinced to kiss him and that if the chemistry was right then I might kiss him, but I actually prefer to take things a bit slower.  Then he made some crazy stupid analogy where he said as far as how things move, he's a race car and I must be walking.  I walked him right to the door.

One Last Thing...

I know I said I don't care about Will...but I just remembered something I would like you all to know...

HE HAS WEBBED TOES!!!

That is all.

Cheers to Smart Ladies!

Just got back from hockey and a few beers with friends, one of which included Will's "other girl".  It was really nice to be out with someone who could potentially have been upset/awkward with me but had enough insight to realize that it is in fact the guy that is a douche.  I have not been in a situation like this for many years but you can rest assure it was never so civil (and I'd even venture pleasant).  I guess it might have something to do with being adults, however, I'm guessing it has even more with being two intelligent females with good self esteem.

Douche Bag Message of the Day "sex sex sex sex sex"

Received a message from a lovely gentleman today named Clam-Man.  In his profile I read the following statement:

"My favorite thing to do is sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.lol Just saying.Its the only thing in this world thats free.lolYou can ignore that last sentance,i was thinking out loud."

No thanks Clam-Man!

Will You Accept this Rose?

I have been hesitant to write this post.  I am getting sick of writing unlucky in love stories but I figure that by not writing I can't make these things not happen so I might as well give it a go.  Hmph.  Fine.

As of the last post I was feeling pretty optimistic about my potential love interests.  I had decided that I was not a cougar and that if a 25 year old showed maturity it shouldn't matter...I certainly dated men in their late 30's who were extremely immature (eh hem...Victor & Des) plus there's that rule, half your age plus 7...it fell within that range so I figured I was good to go. 



We all know how this turned out...I should have trusted my gut.

Right now I am feeling that my love glass is at least half empty. The 25 year old; Will, that I felt might be a match ended up being a total creepy, slimeball, douchebag. 

After our first date (dinner, skating, hot chocolate) things got hot and heavy pretty quickly.  I really should have been smarter.  I really should have trusted my instincts.  I really should not have let things go at warp speed.  I think I was blinded by the fact that this younger guy with a hot bod was into me.  We really had nothing in common but he was fun and I was attracted to him so in this dating phase that was enough for me.  We were just dating and normally in that stage of the game I'd be cool with both parties dating other people...in fact I was (and still am).  However, this idiot put things into high gear so quickly I couldn't imagine how he could be seeing anyone else.  It kind of freaked me out how quickly things were moving.  In a case where a female did these types of things she would absolutely be viewed as desperate, needy, or psycho. 

Within one week of dating I had seen this guy Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and  Saturday (somebody please slap me for being such an idiot).   During this time he had also told his mom about me, booked us concert tickets for a show in April and took me to a huge work function where I met his co-workers, boss and president of the company.  He was also constantly texting me and saying all kinds of flattering things(including how he was looking for a relationship).  A bit much for 6 days of dating, no?    You could see though how I might have perceived that he was looking for something serious.  You could see how I could think that he actually really liked me.  This is why I went along with it all and actually almost let another guy go to the wayside.

It turns out that this idiot is a master manipulator and an arrogant, cocky, man-whore.  I actually think he gets some sort of sick pleasure into making girls fall for him and stringing them along and playing mind games with them.  I didn't ask or expect much of anything from him.  I am a 30ish year old and feel like I am fairly sexually liberated.  We could have both gotten what we were looking for from eachother without manipulation.  Were we committed? No.  Should he have been able to date other people?  Absolutely.  I just don't get why he would go through all the trouble of introducing me to his co-workers and talking to his mom about me and setting up long term plans just to get a little action when he probably could have gotten it anyways by being honest and not setting up false expectations.  Turns out this little freakazoid was using the same moves on a few ladies, such as buying his first dates flowers (all with in the same social circle) and expected noone would be wise to him.  People talk dude.   After spending three consecutive evenings with me I went off to spend some time with some friends and he promptly began to call up the other girl and beg her to come over.  Anyways...I caught wind of this within about an hour of it happening.  I called it off immediately.  I don't have room for some little game playing boy. 

I did have a sick revenge fantasy where instead of calling things off I would wait until hockey on Thurday evening and have both myself and the other girl show up and go up to him innocently with love in our eyes, only to each present him with our dead roses and turn around and walk away.  I actually am over this dip shit.  I know I sound really pissed off but that is mostly for dramatic flair.  Yes he is an idiot, but oh well.  I've dated LOTS of them.  Just glad to have not wasted more than a week with this guy.  Time to move on to bigger and better things.  Things not rockin' shredded jeans and Hollister t-shirts in every shade of the rainbow.

I still have hope for shy, introverted, Shaun.

This Week's Dates Leave Me with One Question: Am I a Cougar?

Guys #11 and 12

This week I was going to break my own record for most dates in a week until strep throat happened.  That being said it is only Wednesday and I have already had two dates and cancelled the one I had scheduled for yesterday.  I am a little annoyed.  I went to the doctor on Saturday and said that I thought I had strep throat.  He said I didn't.  After suffering through two dates and two days of working feeling like I was swallowing razor blades and like my throat was swelling shut, I decided to go back to the doctor.  Surprise, surprise this doctor told me I did indeed have strep throat.  Anyhoo now armed with 40 pills to take I am beginning to feel almost instantly better.  I still took the day off work as to not infect anyone(although I probably already did over the past two days).

Anyhoo back to the date-a-thon mission that I've been on. 

On Sunday I went out with Shaun.  Shaun is 5'11".  Shaun is 33.  Shaun is a carpenter.  Shaun is a blogger.  Shaun is cute.  We went for coffee and I really enjoyed his company.  He is a bit introverted but he opened up to me a bit and I found out that we have an eerie amount of things in common with regard to our family backgrounds and how we grew up etc.  He seems well read and somewhat serious.  I'm interested in seeing if he loosens up a bit and can show a silly/funny side.  The one thing I  like best about him is that he does blue collar type work but is also creative and very intelligent.  I dated a carpenter in the past and well let's just say he drank a lot of beer and was less than intelligent.  Shaun and I both agreed we had an enjoyable time and would like to see eachother again.

On Monday I went out with Will.  Will is 5'10".  Will works at the shipyards.  Will is a guy I met in real life.  Will is cute.  Will is 25 (Rawwwr!  Sound the cougar alarm).  I play in a co-ed recreational sports league and a friend of mine asked me if I was available to help out a team that was short players.  I said sure.  So off I went to help a team of young, athletic looking young men.  I thoought these guys are going to be really great.  I was wrong.  They lost big time.  12-1 in fact.  Guess who scored their one and only goal?  That's right!  This girl right here.  I must have impressed this youngin'.  The next day he added me to Facebook.  I told them I would play for them again if they needed me so I figured this was just a way of getting in touch with me for that.  Anyhoo the guy begins chattin' it up with me and eventually asks me out.  I normally wouldn't be dating someone so much younger than me and I even told him this...but he seemed mature and he is cute so I gave it a shot.  We went for dinner and skating at the Oval (great date spot, I'm tellin' ya) and then ended the night with hot chocolate.  We were getting ready to skate and I could tell he was trying to hide something in his bag...he had flowers for me as well.  Sooo cute.  I don't know if he is just a little gentlemen all the time or if he figured an old Coug like me needed some extra woo-ing but it was a sweet gesture.  Do ya think he is trying too hard? We are seeing eachother again on Saturday.



I was supposed to go out with Jackson yesterday.  Jackson is 37.  Jackson is 6'2".  Jackson is a flight dispatcher at the airport.  We have spoken via email and uncharacteristically of most guys these days on the phone.  He seems really sweet but a little bit dorky.  We were originally supposed to go out on Saturday afternoon as well but his work schedule got messed up so we rescheduled for last night.  With the knowledge that I had strep I figured I had better cancel.   He is off work for the next few days so if all goes well I may see him this week.

So that means if I see Shaun again, Will again and Jackson for the first time...I will have had 5 damn dates this week that's a new record.  Now I am getting concerned about liking too many guys when normally I like none.  I already know I like both Shaun and Will.... Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Pure Cheese

I like to be complimented as much as the next girl, but receiving messages of pure cheese from strangers is not a turn on.  Men of the internet please stop sending cheesy messages to girls you don't know, it is not a turn on.

Today's cheesy message:

"Hey gorgeous... If god mad something more beautiful then you, well he kept it for himself...I'm from Moncton but I'll be in halifax next week on Tuesday and Wednesday, It would be nice to meet someone that could show me arround, if your interested drop me a line..."

Yeah just what I want a long distance bootie call with a guy who can't spell.

No Love for January

I am no longer dating Tim from the skate date.  I wasn't 100% sure how I felt about him so when he texted to say things had "petered out" I was kind of relieved.  I don't really know what he meant by petered out.  I am not sure if things ever petered in (?).  I mean I never felt any instant connection and there certainly was no passion to fade out...whatever...don't get it.  Maybe that's all he meant that there was no connection, who knows.  However, In the same text he said that I was really pretty, nice and funny....so I don't know what his problem was exactly.  I mean to me if I found a guy that was handsome, nice, and funny I'd probably hang on to him. 

Oh well...another 5'7er  bites the dust.

On another note I also got approached by a bi-curious female online, not once...but twice by the same girl.  Of all the bizarro things that have happened to me online, this one is actually a first.  Apparently she was wronged by her last BF and is fed up with men and wanted to give girls a go.  Flattered?  Maybe.  Into it?  Not at all.

I am also talking to two, possibly three potentially great guys.  Then again aren't they all?  One of them asked me for a drink or coffee....so once the date happens I'll be sure to post.

Guy#10~ Tim: Skate Date

I just got back from my second date with Tim.  We went skating. It is my favorite type of date.  A date that includes an activity.  I like dates where you get to do something fun.  It's a great way to break the ice (no pun intended) and get in a little flirty action.  We hit up The Oval, which in my opinion is probably the best winter date you can have.  You get to get dolled up in your best, cutest, cozy gear and show off your best moves.  The hot chocolate afterwards is nice too.  Needless to say the date was a success.  I was initially concerned that Tim's height might be a turn off...but...it isn't:)  He's really cute and nice and since I am only 5'3" I am over it for now.  The conversation was easy and natural and he can take a little teasing which I can appreciate.  I think we will be seeing eachother again soon.



Guy #10~ Tim

I went on a date on Tuesday.  I think the guy is not so bad.  I usually try to put some colorful description of the guy/date in my title.  However with this dude there were no crazy weird things for me to comment on.  Here are the only possible potential problems I can foresee:

-He is short (5'7")...but aren't they all?
-He wears a leather corded necklace with some sort of gemstone or shark tooth.

Is that enough to call it off?  Generally I would say yes...but I think he is nice and cute so we have another date coming up on Sunday.  I will let 'cha know how that goes. 

Single Girl Song: Potential New Boyfriend

It's Saturday and I am heading out on the tonight with the girls.  This will be my theme for tonight:)

Back off bitches!!!

Horrific Dates in Histoy~ Raj

This isn't my first online dating rodeo.  My first foray into this crazy world occured somewhere in either 2006 or 2007.  One of my first and most memorable dates was this guy named Raj. Raj was originally from India.  When we started chatting he had been living in Canada for about five years, but was actually home in India for a few months.  So we chatted for a few weeks and planned our first date upon his return to Canada. 

Our first date started off really sweet.  He brought me a hand beaded purse and a pair of earrings from India.  We had decided to go bowling.  It was super fun.  We had some beer, got a tiny bit tipsy and had a few laughs and overall a great time.  After bowling we decided to go back to his place and order some Chinese take out and watch a movie.  We had another beer or two and then Mr. Raj got brave.  He went in for the kiss.  I was having a great time so I figured, why not?  Well he started to get a little excited and was moving a little faster than I had anticipated or was ready for. He did the good old fashioned leg hump that I love so much and actually ripped a button off my shirt trying to get his hand up my sleeve and to my girls (interesting approach, might I add).  At that point I had enough.  I tell him what I am thinking and leave.

The next day I get a phone call from my date.  He was extremely apologetic and felt really bad about the way things went down.  He seemed quite sincere and since our date started off so great I decided to give it another shot...always with the damn second shots...note to self...that has got to stop! Anyways we go out a few more times and he truly is a nice guy.  On one of our dates I discover that he had actually dated a girl that I had gone to school with all throughout elementary school, but moved away in grade seven.  They ended things on positive terms and he actually still had her contact info so I got it from him and I reconnected with my old friend.  We probably went on a total of about five dates.  At this point he was wanting things to be really serious.  He called me every morning to be my wake up call, so he could hear my voice as soon as he woke up, stuff like that...barf.  Anyways as is the case with most guys I ever seem to date, I really wasn't feeling the attraction.  Since he seemed to be getting ahead of himself with our "relationship" I decided I had better end it.

About a month or two later I am chatting with my old friend, the same one that had also dated Raj.  Well, what she had to say truly shocked me.  Literally days after things had ended with Raj and I he packed up his bags, flew back to India and got himself a wife! I guess he was tired of Canadian women and just wanted to settle down and get married so he let his parents set him up in an arranged marriage!  I guess I was the straw that broke the camel's back for this guy.  He just couldn't take another rejection from a Canadian woman and decided to do things the old fashioned way!

So yeah....that's the kind of crap that happens to me.  Date a guy, he the concludes Canadian women are crazy and decides marrying  someone he's never even met is a far better alternative.  The funny thing is I have run into he and his wife a few times here and there....we both avoid making eye contact and pretend not to see eachother.  I think it's for the best. 

Although, I have always wanted to wear a sari...



Photo credit http://fashionfunworld.blogspot.com/2011/06/indian-wedding-jewellery.html

...mehndi is pretty neat too!

AKA Date Girl

Just a little note about this blog.  This is something I do for fun.  It is something I do because I like to write.  It is just another way to express myself and chronicle the ridiculous dates that I have been subjected to as a single girl in this city.  I choose not to write using my real name for reasons that I would think are quite obvious:

a)  I am single and dating in a small city.  A single google search of my name would likely turn up this blog.  In all likelihood noone is going to want to date a girl who could potentially spill all their dirty little secrets on her blog.
b)  Out of respect and privacy for those I have dated I have not included my own name or theirs.  All of the stories I tell are true but I have tried to change or leave out details that would identify anyone.
c)  It's not really the kind of thing you want your boss reading about you.  My mom doesn't really need to know about my leg getting humped either...

I am not ashamed of my dates, the things I have done on them or anything I have written about.  I just want to be asked out again without having my potential victims dates knowing that they could end up on a blog about dating disasters.  If anyone wants to turn this baby into a book then I will gladly out myself to the masses (all 6 of ya!) and take full credit for the hilarity that is my blog and sadly enough my dating life. 

P.S.-As some of you may know I also have another blog where I write quite publicly using my real name, about the rather mundane details of my day to day life.

Single Girl Song: "Far Away"

I recently heard this song and I think it pretty much sums up how I am feeling and what I am hoping for in life.  I think it is quite fitting because I am originally from a small fishing community and somehow the city boys I keep meeting are missing some of the qualities that I love so much about the men at home.  I can't seem to find the right balance of country boy values and city boy style. 

Just a simple life by the sea...is it too much for a girl to ask for?

What Do You Do with Gifts from Exes?

I was just getting ready for bed and removing my jewelry and thought to myself "Is it weird that I am still wearing jewelry given to me by an alcoholic ex-boyfriend who I dated over 7 years ago and is now married to and has a child with someone else?"   I personally don't give a shit.  If it's nice and I like it I will wear it.  I don't think most of my friends would...and although generally a very sentimental person I don't seem to attach any sentimental value to ex-bf gifts.  To me it's just stuff, pretty stuff, given to me by some loser ex boyfriend.  So if I didn't get anything much from the relationship I might as well enjoy a little bling.

Granted these are not engagement rings I am talking about...I don't think I could go there...although I probably could melt down the gold and get the diamond set in something else and be okay with it.

What do you think? What do you do with gifts from exes?

Kissin' Mission NYE

Yesterday I told my BFF that I was going to be bold and tell all the cute guys at the party/dance I was attending for NYE to find me at midnight and I would kiss whoever showed up.  Well that didn't exactly happen.  It was hard to make contact with all the boys considering we arrived at the party only an hour before midnight and was not nearly brave drunk enough and there were literally maybe three single guys there.

So I missed my midnight kiss...but did I let that get me down?  No, of course not.  I quickly rebounded and found a dance partner and boogied the night away.  A little about this dance partner....he was a very cute, drunken, bearded redneck that I dated about five years ago and have always had a little thing for ever since.  His willingness to cut a rug with him boded well for him and instead of a midnight kiss I settled for a two a.m. kiss, worked for me. 

That was my first kiss for 2012.  What else will the new year bring in the kissin' department?  Only time will tell.