Tuesday 28 February 2012

Horrific Dates in Histoy~ Dann-o

A long while back in about 2006 I went on a date with Dann-o.  At that time I was living in my hometown and Dann-o was from  the next town over but was living in Halifax.  He was a physiotherapist and one of my co-workers knew his older sisters (and said he came from a lovely family) so I thought I might be in luck. 
My first clue into the fact that something was off with this dude was that when we were making our date plans he said he was working nights, so we had to wait and plan around that....What kind of physiotherapist works the back shift?  Anyhoo we went ahead and made a plan.  Since we kinda knew some mutual people and I was living in a much smaller, safer town I allowed him to pick me up at my house. 

When he arrived, wearing the ugliest, most out-dated carpenter style jeans, I asked what he wanted to do.  I suggested we go grab a bite or a drink or something at the pub down the street.  He said he was actually kind of broke and was hoping we could just hang out at my place.  What kind of guy asks a girl out and can't even afford to buy himself a drink or two?  Totally unprepared for this and feeling too guilty to send him packing I say sure we can stay at my place.  We sit on the couch and turn on the tube and do a little chatting.  There is zero connection.  I am feeling awkward and uncomfortable.  I think it is fairly obvious.  He proceeds to tell me that he has no money because he is working at a call center and is living in a boarding house.  Facts he definately neglected to tell me during the get to know you portion of our online encounter.  He definately pulled the old bait and switch on me.

Then out of nowhere, with me sitting as far away as possible from him he goes in for the kiss.  I turn my cheek and tell him I am not interested and don't think there is a connection.  He proceeds to try to convince me to kiss me and tells me that I can't be sure that there is no connection unless we kiss and that sometimes a sexual chemistry can build and you just need to try it to find out.  I politely told him  that I should not need to be convinced to kiss him and that if the chemistry was right then I might kiss him, but I actually prefer to take things a bit slower.  Then he made some crazy stupid analogy where he said as far as how things move, he's a race car and I must be walking.  I walked him right to the door.

Friday 17 February 2012

One Last Thing...

I know I said I don't care about Will...but I just remembered something I would like you all to know...

HE HAS WEBBED TOES!!!

That is all.

Thursday 16 February 2012

Cheers to Smart Ladies!

Just got back from hockey and a few beers with friends, one of which included Will's "other girl".  It was really nice to be out with someone who could potentially have been upset/awkward with me but had enough insight to realize that it is in fact the guy that is a douche.  I have not been in a situation like this for many years but you can rest assure it was never so civil (and I'd even venture pleasant).  I guess it might have something to do with being adults, however, I'm guessing it has even more with being two intelligent females with good self esteem.

Douche Bag Message of the Day "sex sex sex sex sex"

Received a message from a lovely gentleman today named Clam-Man.  In his profile I read the following statement:

"My favorite thing to do is sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.lol Just saying.Its the only thing in this world thats free.lolYou can ignore that last sentance,i was thinking out loud."

No thanks Clam-Man!

Monday 13 February 2012

Will You Accept this Rose?

I have been hesitant to write this post.  I am getting sick of writing unlucky in love stories but I figure that by not writing I can't make these things not happen so I might as well give it a go.  Hmph.  Fine.

As of the last post I was feeling pretty optimistic about my potential love interests.  I had decided that I was not a cougar and that if a 25 year old showed maturity it shouldn't matter...I certainly dated men in their late 30's who were extremely immature (eh hem...Victor & Des) plus there's that rule, half your age plus 7...it fell within that range so I figured I was good to go. 


We all know how this turned out...I should have trusted my gut.

Right now I am feeling that my love glass is at least half empty. The 25 year old; Will, that I felt might be a match ended up being a total creepy, slimeball, douchebag. 

After our first date (dinner, skating, hot chocolate) things got hot and heavy pretty quickly.  I really should have been smarter.  I really should have trusted my instincts.  I really should not have let things go at warp speed.  I think I was blinded by the fact that this younger guy with a hot bod was into me.  We really had nothing in common but he was fun and I was attracted to him so in this dating phase that was enough for me.  We were just dating and normally in that stage of the game I'd be cool with both parties dating other people...in fact I was (and still am).  However, this idiot put things into high gear so quickly I couldn't imagine how he could be seeing anyone else.  It kind of freaked me out how quickly things were moving.  In a case where a female did these types of things she would absolutely be viewed as desperate, needy, or psycho. 

Within one week of dating I had seen this guy Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and  Saturday (somebody please slap me for being such an idiot).   During this time he had also told his mom about me, booked us concert tickets for a show in April and took me to a huge work function where I met his co-workers, boss and president of the company.  He was also constantly texting me and saying all kinds of flattering things(including how he was looking for a relationship).  A bit much for 6 days of dating, no?    You could see though how I might have perceived that he was looking for something serious.  You could see how I could think that he actually really liked me.  This is why I went along with it all and actually almost let another guy go to the wayside.

It turns out that this idiot is a master manipulator and an arrogant, cocky, man-whore.  I actually think he gets some sort of sick pleasure into making girls fall for him and stringing them along and playing mind games with them.  I didn't ask or expect much of anything from him.  I am a 30ish year old and feel like I am fairly sexually liberated.  We could have both gotten what we were looking for from eachother without manipulation.  Were we committed? No.  Should he have been able to date other people?  Absolutely.  I just don't get why he would go through all the trouble of introducing me to his co-workers and talking to his mom about me and setting up long term plans just to get a little action when he probably could have gotten it anyways by being honest and not setting up false expectations.  Turns out this little freakazoid was using the same moves on a few ladies, such as buying his first dates flowers (all with in the same social circle) and expected noone would be wise to him.  People talk dude.   After spending three consecutive evenings with me I went off to spend some time with some friends and he promptly began to call up the other girl and beg her to come over.  Anyways...I caught wind of this within about an hour of it happening.  I called it off immediately.  I don't have room for some little game playing boy. 

I did have a sick revenge fantasy where instead of calling things off I would wait until hockey on Thurday evening and have both myself and the other girl show up and go up to him innocently with love in our eyes, only to each present him with our dead roses and turn around and walk away.  I actually am over this dip shit.  I know I sound really pissed off but that is mostly for dramatic flair.  Yes he is an idiot, but oh well.  I've dated LOTS of them.  Just glad to have not wasted more than a week with this guy.  Time to move on to bigger and better things.  Things not rockin' shredded jeans and Hollister t-shirts in every shade of the rainbow.

I still have hope for shy, introverted, Shaun.

Wednesday 8 February 2012

This Week's Dates Leave Me with One Question: Am I a Cougar?

Guys #11 and 12

This week I was going to break my own record for most dates in a week until strep throat happened.  That being said it is only Wednesday and I have already had two dates and cancelled the one I had scheduled for yesterday.  I am a little annoyed.  I went to the doctor on Saturday and said that I thought I had strep throat.  He said I didn't.  After suffering through two dates and two days of working feeling like I was swallowing razor blades and like my throat was swelling shut, I decided to go back to the doctor.  Surprise, surprise this doctor told me I did indeed have strep throat.  Anyhoo now armed with 40 pills to take I am beginning to feel almost instantly better.  I still took the day off work as to not infect anyone(although I probably already did over the past two days).

Anyhoo back to the date-a-thon mission that I've been on. 

On Sunday I went out with Shaun.  Shaun is 5'11".  Shaun is 33.  Shaun is a carpenter.  Shaun is a blogger.  Shaun is cute.  We went for coffee and I really enjoyed his company.  He is a bit introverted but he opened up to me a bit and I found out that we have an eerie amount of things in common with regard to our family backgrounds and how we grew up etc.  He seems well read and somewhat serious.  I'm interested in seeing if he loosens up a bit and can show a silly/funny side.  The one thing I  like best about him is that he does blue collar type work but is also creative and very intelligent.  I dated a carpenter in the past and well let's just say he drank a lot of beer and was less than intelligent.  Shaun and I both agreed we had an enjoyable time and would like to see eachother again.

On Monday I went out with Will.  Will is 5'10".  Will works at the shipyards.  Will is a guy I met in real life.  Will is cute.  Will is 25 (Rawwwr!  Sound the cougar alarm).  I play in a co-ed recreational sports league and a friend of mine asked me if I was available to help out a team that was short players.  I said sure.  So off I went to help a team of young, athletic looking young men.  I thoought these guys are going to be really great.  I was wrong.  They lost big time.  12-1 in fact.  Guess who scored their one and only goal?  That's right!  This girl right here.  I must have impressed this youngin'.  The next day he added me to Facebook.  I told them I would play for them again if they needed me so I figured this was just a way of getting in touch with me for that.  Anyhoo the guy begins chattin' it up with me and eventually asks me out.  I normally wouldn't be dating someone so much younger than me and I even told him this...but he seemed mature and he is cute so I gave it a shot.  We went for dinner and skating at the Oval (great date spot, I'm tellin' ya) and then ended the night with hot chocolate.  We were getting ready to skate and I could tell he was trying to hide something in his bag...he had flowers for me as well.  Sooo cute.  I don't know if he is just a little gentlemen all the time or if he figured an old Coug like me needed some extra woo-ing but it was a sweet gesture.  Do ya think he is trying too hard? We are seeing eachother again on Saturday.



I was supposed to go out with Jackson yesterday.  Jackson is 37.  Jackson is 6'2".  Jackson is a flight dispatcher at the airport.  We have spoken via email and uncharacteristically of most guys these days on the phone.  He seems really sweet but a little bit dorky.  We were originally supposed to go out on Saturday afternoon as well but his work schedule got messed up so we rescheduled for last night.  With the knowledge that I had strep I figured I had better cancel.   He is off work for the next few days so if all goes well I may see him this week.

So that means if I see Shaun again, Will again and Jackson for the first time...I will have had 5 damn dates this week that's a new record.  Now I am getting concerned about liking too many guys when normally I like none.  I already know I like both Shaun and Will.... Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Saturday 4 February 2012

Pure Cheese

I like to be complimented as much as the next girl, but receiving messages of pure cheese from strangers is not a turn on.  Men of the internet please stop sending cheesy messages to girls you don't know, it is not a turn on.

Today's cheesy message:

"Hey gorgeous... If god mad something more beautiful then you, well he kept it for himself...I'm from Moncton but I'll be in halifax next week on Tuesday and Wednesday, It would be nice to meet someone that could show me arround, if your interested drop me a line..."

Yeah just what I want a long distance bootie call with a guy who can't spell.