Friday, 25 November 2011

Guy #9~ A Guy, Two Sleds and a Pizza Dilemma (Parker)

On Wednesday I had a seeminly promising date with a seemingly normal (albeit slightly geeky....well maybe fully geeky) guy.  He is really nice, seems to be looking for the same things as me and is about to start a promising career.  Originally our plan was to go out for a drink, but then mother nature gave us something far more exciting to do.  She dumped a giant load of snow on us, so we ventured to a popular local hill for some good old fashioned sledding.  Being one not to shy away from a little adventure I was all for it.  Instead of spending a fair bit of time getting ready I threw on my lulus and winter gear and headed for the hill. 

As far as first dates go it was pretty good.  It was nice to step outside the box and do something a little different.  It was interesting trying to get to know someone while in your most figure flattering snow pants and while huffing and puffing up a giant hill.  After we were done coasting we headed out for hot chocolate.  Despite the fact that I had major racoon eyes from snow getting in my face and my make up running (thanks guy for not telling me, btw!) things went pretty well and we decided to extend the date and go for the drink we had originally planned on as well.  Since then he has been texting me and we made plans to see eachother Sunday.'s the kicker...

I may be reading too much into this...whadda ya think?

Tonight I get some texts to firm up our plans for Sunday.  They go like this-

Guy: So Sunday I work 11-7

Me:  So did you still want to do something?Guy:  I would have comendeered you tonight but I am

Guy:  If you want to do pizza and a movie I'll cover the pizza.

At this point I was a little taken aback and unsure of how to respond.  Here's why:

First- I think it is tacky to bring up money at all.
Second- I am old fashioned.  I mean I don't mind paying sometimes and doing my share....but c'mon buddy this is our second should be wooing me (plus I paid half on our first date).
Third (and perhaps most importantly)- Buddy, you work at a pizza place (and live with your parents).  How generous of you to spring for a free or at least very cheap pizza and then tell me I am going to pay for the movie.

Me:  Confused faced emoticon

Guy:  So pizza and a movie on Sunday??

Me:  Sure...a movie at home or at the theatre?

Guy: Either way

Me: I am going to a movie tonight

Guy:  If I'm in charge of pizza, then  your in charge of the movie so you get to decide.

Guy:  I'll figure out something else

Me:  What do you mean?

Guy:  I was just thinking that you telling me you were going to the movies meant that you didn't want to go again.  So we are back to the drawing board.

Me: No, a movie is good.

Guy:  We could go out for supper or something I just figured you might be tight with money for a bit.

I was shocked.  Is it just me or is this completely out of line to say to someone you have been on one date with?  My financial business is really no concern of his.  I mean on our first date I did mention that work was a bit slow at the moment...but still....frig.  Where is the chivalry?  The good old fashioned gender roles?  The desire to romance a woman and make her feel like you are trying to woo her?  Am I being ridiculous?  Do I sound like a gold-digging, greedy, anti-feminist whore? 

Frig...what's a girl to do?

...and he's not 5'6"!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's actually tall:)

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Guy#8~ The Coconut Prince/Turkish Delight/The Professor

I recently had two dates with another Ehobbit.  Seriously.  I know I've mentioned it before but every single guy that tries to talk to me is under 5'8".   This one was no exception...he measured in at a whopping 5'7".  He seemed nice so I gave him a chance.  He also seemed to have things in order.  He worked as an Economics professor at a local university (this should have been a sign my last serious BF was an economist...).  Our first date was brief.  We met for coffee.  He was indeed nice.  Although I was not terribly attracted to him I decided to go for date number two.  In between date one and two we continued chatting on the phone etc.  During one of our discussions he asked me when my birthday was.  I told him.  He immediately went online and found a site that told about our compatibility based on our astrological sign.  To me it seemed a little twelve year old girl-ish...but I rolled with it.  According to this site he had a tough exterior like a coconut.  I proceded to tell him that it must mean that he was brown and hairy like a coconut.  He thought I was hilarious (obviously). 

On our second date we went bowling.  He insisted that instead of putting his initial 'B' on the score sheet I put 'CP'.  I was like, huh?  He responded by saying that it was for "Coconut Prince".  Yes.  Coconut Prince, he proclaimed himself to be a Coconut Prince and then gave himself a nickname.  Who does that?  During the strenuous activity of bowling he began to sweat  right through his shirt...ick.  True to the first date he was still extremely nice.  We went for lunch.  We also had coffee.  During this time I also discovered he was an extremely loud, spitty talker.  Ick.

Without going into long boring are some other key facts as to why this guy wasn't for me:

-He also called himself the Turkish Delight
-He texted me this joke: "What did the polar bear say to the camel?"
                                      "_______(insert my name here) is a cute girl who is one hell of a bowler"
-We went on two dates and he was telling his department secretary all about me.
-He was telling me he missed me on more than one occasion after not talking for just one day.
-He used to have these "Off the record" moments where he would compliment me or say something relationship-y and he would say can I tell you something "Off the record?"
-HE WORE ONE PIECE ONESIE PYJAMAS.  I swear.  He told me this.  He referred to them as his onesies.  At first I thought he meant a baby diaper shirt....but no he meant one piece footy pj's.  No self-respecting man who ever wanted to have sex would wear one piece pyjamas....I can't believe I almost forgot that one....fml.

Despite his crazy nerdiness he was a really nice person.  I felt really bad about breaking it off with him.  So I did the cowardly thing.  Nothing.  Eventually he wrote me on Facebook and I had to apologize for being a douchebag...honestly though...we only had two dates.

...and he was a 5'7" onesie wearing, loud, spitty talking Coconut Prince.

Guy #7~ Ian "The Over Accessorized"

Back in like July I started talking to this guy.  He seemed really artsy and didn't think my love of vintage, thrifted things was too weird.  He had a good job and seemed reasonably intelligent.  Then he disappeared.  In October-ish (yeah I am a little behind in posting) he all of a sudden resurfaced and asked me to go on a date.  He apologized for going missing.  I really didn't care...I mean if you are dating online you kind of expect these things to happen.  So I didn't ask too many questions and just decided to go on the damn date.  We met for coffee and then had dinner.  As it ALWAYS seems to be with these online guys, this guy was 5'6".  He was also extremely over accessorized.  He had on more jewelry and layers then I could ever imagine wearing on one day.  He had a newsboy style hat, glasses, had more than one hole in his ears, had a nose piercing, some beaded and hemp necklaces, some bracelets (one of which had a lot of skulls) and some rings.  SERIOUSLY!  He also had a jacket, a button up shirt, with a tight deep v-necked style shirt underneath...oh baby! He was also rockin' some Chuck T's which I am generally down with, I even have a pair, but this ensemble was just too much.

Anyways...he was a nice enough guy.  Kinda trying too hard...he was trying to prove how artsy was and how is was waaaay cool for being into indie music that I've never heard of.

Oh yeah...and he's 5'6".

He may have also been wearing a scarf.