Thursday, 4 August 2011

The United States of Terrence

Okay.  I am done.  I am done with online dating.  After my date tomorrow I am done.  For real.  Unless someone really great messages me before then I am done.

Last week I began chatting with this guy, Sam.  He was cute and seemed nice (although a little too eager to meet me, I probably should have viewed this as a warning sign) so we planned to meet a few days after we began chatting.  He seemed promising so I sent his photo to my bestie.  She responded "Hey, that's Terrence!".  I was like "Are you sure that it's not Sam?".  She was pretty sure it was Terrence.  She was pretty sure it was the same guy that dated her ex-boyfriend's sister.  She also went on to inform me that he was really odd.  Harmless but a little slow and socially awkward.  So what choice did I have.  I had to message this guy to see if he was Sam or Terrence.  I sent the message.  I did a little prayer.  I was hoping my friend was wrong and that this was indeed Sam.  A nice, normal guy that just happened to look like this Terrence guy that she knew like ten years ago.  As my luck would have it (and I am sure you are not suprised), Sam and Terrence were one and the same.  Turns out his name is Samuel Terrence Brown.  He tells me that only his friends from high school and his family would know him as Terrence.  Everyone else knows him as Sam.

Things seem a little odd with this guy.  I have already scheduled a date with him and despite not owing him anything I feel bad about cancelling the date.  So...I decide to investigate a little further.  I send a different friend a text.  I asked her "Have you ever heard of Samuel Terrence Brown?"  Seconds later my phone rings.  I pick up and on the other end before even getting a chance to say hello I hear, "NOOOOOOOOOO! Don't do it!".  She proceeds to tell me that this guy is a freak.  He is dumb(which also coincides with my other friend's description of him) and that he has no friends.  She also tells me that he dated another girl we both know and supposedly he was obssessed with her, mooched off of her and became physically violent with her.  God damn!  I sure know how to pick 'em!

Now without a doubt in my mind I decide I must cancel this date.  I message him and just tell him that I know his ex-girlfriend and although he seems nice I would prefer not to get involved.  He went on to say that he didn't know what I heard about him, but it wasn't true and that I shouldn't judge him.  He told me that he had heard stuff about me too (which there is no way he did because there is nothing to hear and he wouldn't even know who to ask if there was).  He bad mouthed his ex and continued flipping out.  He said that teachers (which is my profession and also the profession of his ex) think they are better then everyone...blah blah blah.

I decide to message his ex (who I have as a facebook friend) and just let her know what happened.  She informs me, quite seriously that she thinks he actually has multiple personality disorder and that "Sam" is the bad, nasty side and that "Terrence" is actually quite sweet and nice.  This is far worse than I could have even imaged.  Thank you sweet baby jesus that I did not end up on a date with him.  While I am sensitive to people with mental illness I am not welcoming of that sort of drama and potential violence in my life.  I hope this guy gets the help he needs, poor unfortunate soul:(

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