Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Guy#8~ The Coconut Prince/Turkish Delight/The Professor

I recently had two dates with another Ehobbit.  Seriously.  I know I've mentioned it before but every single guy that tries to talk to me is under 5'8".   This one was no exception...he measured in at a whopping 5'7".  He seemed nice so I gave him a chance.  He also seemed to have things in order.  He worked as an Economics professor at a local university (this should have been a sign my last serious BF was an economist...).  Our first date was brief.  We met for coffee.  He was indeed nice.  Although I was not terribly attracted to him I decided to go for date number two.  In between date one and two we continued chatting on the phone etc.  During one of our discussions he asked me when my birthday was.  I told him.  He immediately went online and found a site that told about our compatibility based on our astrological sign.  To me it seemed a little twelve year old girl-ish...but I rolled with it.  According to this site he had a tough exterior like a coconut.  I proceded to tell him that it must mean that he was brown and hairy like a coconut.  He thought I was hilarious (obviously). 

On our second date we went bowling.  He insisted that instead of putting his initial 'B' on the score sheet I put 'CP'.  I was like, huh?  He responded by saying that it was for "Coconut Prince".  Yes.  Coconut Prince, he proclaimed himself to be a Coconut Prince and then gave himself a nickname.  Who does that?  During the strenuous activity of bowling he began to sweat  right through his shirt...ick.  True to the first date he was still extremely nice.  We went for lunch.  We also had coffee.  During this time I also discovered he was an extremely loud, spitty talker.  Ick.

Without going into long boring detail...here are some other key facts as to why this guy wasn't for me:

-He also called himself the Turkish Delight
-He texted me this joke: "What did the polar bear say to the camel?"
                                      "_______(insert my name here) is a cute girl who is one hell of a bowler"
-We went on two dates and he was telling his department secretary all about me.
-He was telling me he missed me on more than one occasion after not talking for just one day.
-He used to have these "Off the record" moments where he would compliment me or say something relationship-y and he would say can I tell you something "Off the record?"
-HE WORE ONE PIECE ONESIE PYJAMAS.  I swear.  He told me this.  He referred to them as his onesies.  At first I thought he meant a baby diaper shirt....but no he meant one piece footy pj's.  No self-respecting man who ever wanted to have sex would wear one piece pyjamas....I can't believe I almost forgot that one....fml.

Despite his crazy nerdiness he was a really nice person.  I felt really bad about breaking it off with him.  So I did the cowardly thing.  Nothing.  Eventually he wrote me on Facebook and I had to apologize for being a douchebag...honestly though...we only had two dates.

...and he was a 5'7" onesie wearing, loud, spitty talking Coconut Prince.

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