Guilty Conscience?

Remember Victor?  They guy that I thought I hit it of with and... and then basically never talked to me again.  Well he called me tonight.  Almost three weeks since the last time I saw him.  I don't know if he just suddenly realized what a douche bag he had been but he decided to call to apologize.  The call went something like this:

Me: Hello?
V: Hi, It's Victor
Me: Hiiiiiii?
V:  I am just calling to apologize.
Me: Ooookay...
V:  I know we were hanging around a lot but I am just in a really bad place now.  I am kinda fucked up.
Me:  I appreciate your apology but it would have been nice to get it like a few days after the last time I saw you...not three weeks later.
V: Yeah I know...I've just been busy with work and I kept meaning to call you...
Me:  It's fine.
V:  And then I saw you that night out downtown and I was hammered....
Me:  It's fine.
V:  So much time had passed so I thought it might be weird to call, but then I decided to man up and call you.
Me:  Thanks for finally growing a set and calling me.
V:  Once again, I am sorry.
Me:  Well I appreciate you calling.  Really It's fine.  Bye.
V:  I'll talk to you...uh...whenever...uh I see you...uh sometime...
Me: Bye Victor.


Well Victor,  I hope your conscience is clear. 

For real, this is your profile? (Jay-BizZy fo' ShizzY)

I am not out searching for strange profiles, however if you message me then you are fair game.  I got a message, it was fairly normal...not anything overly ambitious...just something like "Hey, how are you today?".  I clicked on the profile to see who was writing me.  This is what I found.

Same sh*tdifferent day just riding through the city looking prettiest as usual
It's the same old thang got the name on the chain just to let them know who's who
And they know I've over here so they come and find me right after they lose you
For you playas in the way we can let the guns say "excuse you"
At the end of the day we just trying find our way and I might be a come up
And baby you hitch a ride but you gotta know how to do more than how to keep a thump up
It's so incredible that it ain't edible but they know the cake's real
Yo I couldn't even say ask these other silicon playas how being fake feel

Sorry Mr. Rapper.  I am not blown away by your lyrical genious.

Douche Bag Message of the Day (Prada Boy)x2

Another loser who definately doesn't know how to approach a lady.

Message #1           mmm whats up babe msg me back if intrested (July 1)

Of course I didn't respond to message number one so naturally this message appears in my inbox four days later.

Message #2           mmm whats up baby msg me back if intrested (July 5)

I suppose he just copies and pastes the same lame message into everyone's inbox....same incorrect spelling and lack of punctuation each time (the obvious cheese factor goes without saying).

Idiot.

July 4, 2011 Second Date with the "Love Doctor"(Mo)

My second date with the "Love Doctor" consisted of a lot of heavy breathing, panting, and perspiring.  That's right it finally happened...

I got my ass up and moving for the first time in probably a year and went for a run.  It was slightly pathetic but could have gone worse.  I play a lot of sports but that is different.  In sports normally when you run it is just a short burst and then you have a few moments to recover.  Yesterday I made it one loop around the commons (about 1.5km) without stopping.  We walked the second loop and then detoured up Citadel Hill.  I ran about halfway around the citadel and back down and half way around the commons again before having to stop.  I felt a little bad because I know the doctor probably could have easily done the whole thing without stopping.  Oh well.  I suck.

The good news is I am pretty sure he still found me attractive  while wheezing, sweating and make-up less. 

Guy #4 "The Love Doctor" (Mo)

So I was at it again.  Back putting myself in potentially dangerous situations with random guys on the internet (although I do always let a friend know where I am going and get a "mid-date safety check-in" text and a "got home safe" end of the night text).  After spending the day with friends at Multifest and stuffing my face with delicious foods from around the world I got home and saw that I had some dating related messages in my inbox.  So at 11 o'clock pm I ran off to the Shoe Shop (also where I spent my second date with Victor) to meet Mo, a 32 year old surgeon. 

Okay once again this is not my date.  Nor does he look like this. 

 I just figured as far as "love doctors" go Travis Stork fits the bill.

Photo Credit http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-506513/Cant-man-makes-happy-The-Love-Doctor-says-YOUR-fault.html

I got there and ordered a beer.  He ordered a Pepsi...he doesn't drink...certainly refreshing after my last date with the "Postman".  He was really sweet and charming and the conversation was never lacking and seemed quite natural for a first date.  After a little while we decided to go for a walk down by the waterfront.  We stopped and sat on a bench.  This is of course where he switches from sweet Mr. Doctor-man to the ever suave Love Doctor.  He kissed me.  It was nice.  Then he kissed me some more.  Then because it was late and dark and noone was around he decided that it would be okay to totally feel me up.  I wasn't opposed to a little of this but it got a little carried away when he asked me to go back to his place on the first date.  There was a time in my more wilder, stupider days when this may have been a possibilty.  However these days it just ain't happenin'.  I am looking for a little more than a one night stand or a booty call.

That all being said he was very respectful and totally backed off.  He was a gentleman and walked me to my car and we went our seperate ways.  I heard from him today and I have decided that I am going to see him again this week at some point.  Most likely we will go for a run around the commons...this should be totally mortifying for me.  Wheezing, sweating, struggling to keep up...all the while trying to play it cool and act like it is all a breeze.  Stay tuned, I'll let you know how it goes.

Guy #3: "Going Postal" (Pat)

I spent part of my Canada Day on a patio sipping on some tasty bevvies.  Sounds perfect right?  Wrong!  I had a date with the guy I like to call the "postman".  His profile was really sweet.  He wasn't bad looking.  Should have been a nice date....it wasn't.  I can't really put my finger on what I didn't like about him but I just didn't.   Maybe it was how my times he mentioned how much he "loved his beer".  Maybe it was the five drinks he had in the middle of the afternoon(in a time span of less than two hours).  Maybe it was the half pint of Guiness he spilled on me and my white leather bag.  Maybe it was the fact that he said on his profile he didn't smoke and then as my car pulled away I watched him light one up.

A few of the best parts of his profile:

Firstly, I love being playfull and kidding around. I am a pretty fun guy, love making people laugh and feel good about themselves, even if it comes at my expense. I am very passionate about life and try to enjoy everyday as if it were my last. I am looking for that, knock me over feeling that you get when you first meet someone...I know its out there and I am patiently waiting for it to happen. I won't settle....why should anyone?

Je suis francais, but you would never know it. I dont have an accent or anything like that, however was taught in French so I am sorry for the spelling....lol

I like to think of myself as being a hopeless romantic despite the curvballs life can throw at you. People say nice guys always finish last, not this one, might get a bump or a bruise from time to time, but I'll never quit, nor will I change....Life is full of surprises, doesnt mean they are all good, but there is always an upside to every situation.

He also sent me a cheesy text with a broken heart emoticon when I said I had plans that evening.

He was a cheeseball.

He had lots of baggage.

Douche Bag Message of the Day (FlaccidFish)

This is some of the shit guys will write you hoping to get laid.  Seriously?  Who responds to this? 

"hey wanna get together and have some fun? we can start off with me going down on you and then take it from there ;) so what do you say? wanna have some fun with me tonight? well get back to me and it better be a yes ;)"

Good luck buddy.